Thanks to social media, there is easy access to what is easily portrayed as the life of others. When strolling someone’s page, all of a sudden, I’m nearly paralyzed with anxiety because I don’t have this thing or another that someone else has. That well- behaved husband or just a husband, kids on point with an undergraduate degree in three years, all while holding down a 4.0 grade point average. My travel plans are sorely lacking and money seems to be flowing like a river for some, when delicious platters from fancy, chic restaurants are shared like clockwork.  Well, all or any of these things, not so much for Grateful Badass.

My life is peanuts compared to some of you.

But then again, when you think about it, everyone puts their best look forward. Right? We do it when meeting someone for the first time, when headed to an interview and even starting a new job or relationship. With all of these things, at first glance, we have it ALL figured out and with an innately, cool disposition.

But let us not forget, we are all on a path to becoming.

Some of us may be farther down the road of becoming than others, and that’s okay. We only cannot judge or compare our lives to the lives of another. It’s not healthy and we’re telling ourselves that we aren’t happy where we are. Plus, we never fully know the inside story of others. Some people are perfect when it comes to wearing masks and going about the business of living and handling things with the look of ease. Maybe, if you stopped a random person or even a close friend and genuinely asked how they’re really doing; despite that fabulous, social media page of theirs, they might just clue you in. And would probably appreciate the concern. Maybe, we should be more transparent with others and show our real, true selves. Transparency, not so sexy? Hmmmm.

True story, during my second year here in New York, I arranged a coffee date with a colleague and upstanding member of the Alumni board of Columbia University. This gentleman graciously agreed to my request AND agreed to meet me in my own neighborhood. On the day of our meeting, I had a frustrating argument with my teenage daughter about something she wanted to do with her friends that I just couldn’t swing at the moment. When leaving the apartment headed to meet my colleague, I was severely bothered because I didn’t like telling my daughter no, mainly because she is a good kid who doesn’t ask or expect much, especially when it comes to material or pricey stuff. But, this thing she wanted was a no-go.

While walking to the meeting place, I managed to pull myself together. When I finally saw and greeted my coffee date and we were about to go into the cute coffee spot, he then turned to me looked me eye to eye and asked me how I was doing. Right then and there, I burst into tears. Unprofessional tears. Huge, crocodile tears running down my face, messing up my composed face, right there on the side of a busy street in the city. But the funny thing was, he didn’t seem alarmed at all. He politely reached into his pocket and handed me a clean, white and nicely folded handkerchief. Can you believe it, a handkerchief? How cool was he?

I blurted out the reason for my coming undone and he gave me a big hug and told me it would all be okay. He patiently waited for me to calm down and held the door while I walked into the coffee shop. After being thrown into my real and transparent self, we went on to having a nice, professional and productive chat while sipping on soothing cups of tea (soothing for me, at least). The day was saved.

I share because the moral of this story is things are not always as they seem. Before my meeting, I initially looked as though I was fine, when I clearly was not. My colleague is an esteemed, well -traveled Professor who didn’t seem, at least in my head, the person to have been so patient with my blubbering, but he was. And my daughter’s friends didn’t care at all that she wasn’t able to do that thing that she was desperately dying to do so badly. Everything turned out okay. No judgments, no grief.

I’m truly grateful for that experience. Everything is not always as it seems. People aren’t always as they seem. Remember to be kind and patient with one another. And try not to compare.  Everyone is on the road of becoming, some a little farther than others.

Share your story of being reminded to never judge a book (or person) by their lavish cover. Or your story of becoming and truly accepting the place where you are. Now, that’s Badass! I would love to hear from you in the comment section below, on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.

Salute.

~  Grateful Badass

Grateful Living, Badass Style!

 

 

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