It was five years ago when I relocated to New York City.

Five years ago when he was lying on the ground chanting. “I can’t breathe”.

I remember seeing that video on the news again and again. Infuriated. Folks were organizing, marching over on Staten Island where it all went down.

I remember family and friends posting on social media about the matter and all of the many lives we’ve lost at the hands of police brutality. Day after day, on the news, on social media, in conversation and looping back again. Folks telling one another to step away from the constant news stream, if need be. Take care of your heart, body and mind. It’s too much to bear.

But, it was hard to step away in fear of missing out on pertinent information. What happens if another brother or sister dies while we look away?

For my own personal sanity, I write about it. Let my fingers do the stomping and protesting for me. Pouring out frantically. I have a son and a daughter out there. What if? The thought nearly paralyzes me.

Months start to fly by with no justice and no peace.

Then, the first year anniversary. The story begins to fade, shown fewer and fewer times. We are furious.

Then, two and three. The powers that be are waiting on this and that. No one knows. No justice and no peace for the family, for any of us.

Four years, and now, I’ve grown acclimated to my new city. Living, breathing, remembering. We can’t forget, “I can’t breathe”. Holding out for someone to do the right thing.

Then, five and finally, some good news. Belated justice. Still, no peace. Folks ready for systemic change for black and brown people. Those marginalized and disenfranchised. 

Five and FINALLY. But, it’s not over yet, the stand, the fight continues.

In memory of Eric Garner and all of the many gone to soon.

#ICantBreathe #BlackLivesMatter

~ Stacey Mack 

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